Disappear

from In Exile by Holy Ramen

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lyrics

The rackets in my head
Be driving me mad
240 down the highway
Just doing a dash
The force's compelling
Sucking away my cash
What you think about that
What you think about that

I keep search for a higher power but nothing comes my way
I'm the hero I'm the villain in this game I play
Happy birthday
Soon it's your dooms day
Don't wanna be a prey
So Imma grind away
Dancing around doing ballet
Your words giving me a stomach-ache
Circoviridae
Pardon my naivete
I don't wanna face
Rather run away

I just wanna
I just wanna
I just wanna
Fucking disappear
I just wanna
I just wanna
I just wanna
Disappear

Meticulously spending calculating
Stacking bills till I'm fantasizing
Crashing down from the aggravating truth
That you'll never find your footing
Tripping over shoestrings
They got you upside down
But you still think you got the upswing
Isn't that berating
Isn't it debilitating
The devil's knocking on my door
But it's only 6am (Shit man it's too early)
I tell him to come back later
Would you do me a kind favour
What you do what you say is not the same
Like Pythagoras I am self-proclaimed
Am I a genius or just insane
Motivated and driven by the pain
Flailing about acting erratic
You're such a little fanatic
Carrying around a semi-automatic
Never thought life would be so traumatic
Don't be so irrational
Why'd you kill her
I don't know
Oh I'm so sensational
In exile

I just wanna
I just wanna
I just wanna
Fucking disappear
I just wanna
I just wanna
I just wanna
Disappear

What a letdown the world is these days
Broken promises no longer face
If you want something done right do it yourself
Ain't nobody else giving you their wealth
I'm my own goddamn woman
Self-made as hell (yes I am)
I'm my own goddamn woman
And I'm feeling unwell

I just wanna
I just wanna
I just wanna
Fucking disappear
I just wanna
I just wanna
I just wanna
Disappear

The world is on fire and I'm caught in the midst of it
What the fuck is my luck there ain't nothing left to fix
Standing on opposite sides
Born enemies till we die
Never becoming the dignified
These tears streaming down my face are just a side effect of my maniac episode
It's quite an overload
Self-imposed disciplinal
Might overdose on fentanyl
It's about time that you should know
You should let 'em go
You should let 'em go
I'm an addict
I'm addicted
To the salvation of the conflicted
Shaped by martyrs
We think we're smarter
Just to fall back into the same charter
Hypocrite
Affectionate
Philanthropic
Narcissist
It's so intricate, it's so delicate
Why not destroy it for the hell of it

I just wanna
I just wanna
I just wanna
Fucking disappear
I just wanna
I just wanna
I just wanna
Disappear

I'm not evil just misunderstood
Always turn bad but I'm tryna do good
Use to wanna make it to Hollywood
Now I'm just tryna make a livelihood
I hear preaches of peace, but I never see
Just more lies to appease unrelenting pleas
Every living day is a raging war
Every living day is a raging war

I keep searching for a higher power
But nothing comes my way
I'm the hero I'm the villain in this fucking sick game I play
If you want something done right do it yourself
I'm my own goddamn woman
And I am here

credits

from In Exile, released April 22, 2022

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Holy Ramen Toronto, Ontario

Hailing from Toronto, Holy Ramen is an up and coming Pop and Hip Hop artist with a penchant for writing infectious tunes and relatable narratives.

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