oblivion

by Holy Ramen

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Alex Dionisio
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1.
music in my head 04:17
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What am I doing Sitting alone in this room for hours Lost in thought playing my keyboard I’m not really even a musician am I now? I just hear music in my head They’re an embodiment of my soul And I need to get them down before I go insane Or maybe I’m already insane The truth is I’m just sad all the time Been like this for a while now Sometimes I feel nothing at all I often wonder what the meaning of life is What is existence, what is consciousness And is the absence of it really so terrible What would oblivion feel like I think it would feel great The weather outside is gloomy The rain is communicating my feelings I smile in photos because I feel obliged to I’m seeing all sorts of hues Used to threaten to kill myself when I got angry My parents thought I was an angsty kid just joking Learned too many sinful things from tv Mimicking what I was seeing in the movies But I have always had something strange living deep inside I don’t feel alright Every passing moment doesn’t feel real I’m at a standstill Can you give me a hand and help me heal Can I get a second chance at life I wanna start over and do it right this time My future is looking bleak Losing hope I’m feeling weak Wind chimes, water falls I’m running in circles till I fall I spend my nights lying awake Wondering what would happen if I died today Wind chimes, water falls I’m running in circles till I fall I spend my nights lying awake Wondering what would happen if I died today A routine is the only thing keeping me sane I have a tendency to overthink about life it’s just a game Gotta get down everything I wanna say In case it's the first and last album that I make Sometimes I watch too many pornographic videos to fill up that void of human connection I so crave I’m really a nasty piece of work it’s probably best to stay away I think rappers are modern philosophers My soul must be corrupted by none other than Lucifer Mac Miller said it best, the world don’t give a fuck about your loneliness All my heroes are gone so I don’t know what else to do then just rest And hope for the best I guess Wind chimes, water falls I’m running in circles till I fall I spend my nights lying awake Wondering what would happen if I died today Wind chimes, water falls I’m running in circles till I fall I spend my nights lying awake Wondering what would happen if I died today So what are you waiting for I asked you what are you waiting for Pull the trigger and send me To Oblivion
2.
confession 04:14
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This song is my confession Lately feeling down has been my obsession They say life is supposed to teach you some lessons But all I got is suppressed aggression Always feeling sad is this depression I don’t wanna admit I got a problem Confession Watching Friends and laughing to more than the laugh track Drinking cough syrup to relax I’ll probably die young from an heart attack from all this stress I have That’s a fact Train pulling in better step back Gotta stop myself from jumping onto the tracks I’m a deranged motherfucker with one too many death wish on a quest to get rich These days are short and nights are long I spend all my time writing sad songs Running this never ending marathon I wonder when the finish line will come along Been experiencing suicidal tendencies since I was a preteen Life is a haze I can’t face without my daily intake of caffeine Am I human or just a machine Used to wanna be a superhero but now I can’t even save myself I fantasize about death way too many times a day to be considered sane These visions in my head keep me entertained I got lots of friends but they’re more like acquaintances Please let me finish my sentences You spend your weekends curled up on the couch watching TV When you could be living your life but fuck reality And happiness is something that can’t be measured Maybe they lied when they said it’ll get better This song is my confession Lately feeling down has been my obsession They say life is supposed to teach you some lessons But all I got is suppressed aggression Always feeling sad is this depression I don’t wanna admit I got a problem Confession Loneliness is now a norm it’s not an option I wonder if they love me or if its for their own conscience The angels have flew away now there’s no one watching me Used to believe in God but now I’m not so sure of my sanity Still I pray to him every night hoping I won’t see the next sunrise Got too many doubts they’re keeping me confined All my heroes have died so I guess it’s also my time Please plug me in the matrix and play out my fantasies As I get older I realize Madara was right (Fuck you Naruto) I mean what we think is real is what’s perceived by our minds How do you know we’re not already in a simulation Spending every waking hour hallucinating The past haunts me like a broken record Wonder if I’ll ever get to see the bigger picture Numb my pain as I go to sleep And wake me up once we’ve reached my dreams This song is my confession Lately feeling down has been my obsession They say life is supposed to teach you some lessons But all I got is suppressed aggression Always feeling sad is this depression I don’t wanna admit I got a problem Confession
3.
i am holy ramen 02:19
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Let's go I was born from the ashes In the darkest moment of despair My story is kind of tragic But please don’t fret or shed a tear My name contradicts my identity I am anything but holy Didn’t even know rap was in my skillset But it came to me like a muscle memory The rhymes I’m spitting are damn intricate They come from the core of my being My soul’s kind of fragile and delicate But I ain’t afraid of bleeding Not just any alter ego in the long list of names I will dominate, I will dominate Do you think that I’m insane The name’s Ramen Holy Ramen I stay slurping The name’s Ramen Holy Ramen I am Holy Ramen I’m obsessed with finding an outlet for all my unrighteous thoughts I’m obsessed with getting attention Do you love me, do you love me You really should not I eat some type of noodle every day I stay true to my nature all the way Sometimes I like to rap slow And in other times fast You got a problem with that I ain’t tryna conform to any norm Not about topping charts or being loved by the mass Imma do my own thing till y’all feel my wrath Bidding time, planting seeds, forging my own path The name’s Ramen Holy Ramen I stay slurping The name’s Ramen Holy Ramen I am Holy Ramen Don’t call me KZ if you ain’t my homie That name’s reserved for the ones that know me Can’t be my friend if you ain’t a bit crazy I’ve always wanted to visit Italy They got spaghetti there that I really like I don’t discriminate against noodle types Bout to rap away all of my soul and sanity Buckle up or you’ll be my next casualty Engrave my name with ancient calligraphy I am the fulfilment of the next great prophecy Look in the mirror who am I Became something new, hellish divine The name’s Ramen Holy Ramen I stay slurping The name’s Ramen Holy Ramen I am Holy Ramen
4.
possessed 02:51
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I think that I'm a ticking bomb Just seconds away from blowing up Allowed the darkness to consume me Can't recognize the person that I've become Sold my soul to the devil to bring some peace One way ticket to hell but that's just what I need Put it all on this bet to set me free If I fail well off the bridge I leap I'm all about leaving a legacy Whether good or bad that don't matter Think I lost my moral compass in this chatter But how would you know I'm just an actor playing my own character This movie be winning an Oscar I keep pretending that I'm a doctor Trying to cure my own illness An excuse for my false sense of brilliance Think I may be a little delusional But the fuck do you know Imma be my own hero when the clock strikes zero I'll be the only one left standing that's a promise Aren't you a little astonished at how calm I am in this times of crisis Well that's cause in desperate times comes a monster and it'll haunt ya I made a deal with her To be my saviour To make the world repent for all that it has made me suffer Corruption Destruction This anger is clouding my vision Slipping into something inhumanly Driving into endless bouts of lunacy Corruption Destruction This anger is clouding my vision Slipping into something inhumanly Driving into endless bouts of lunacy It's me that you should be thanking I killed that bitch cause she was weak She would've stopped you from living and breathing You're still alive because of me The world is harsh so you better get cold Don't need no heart don't need no soul I can give you all the power that you crave Show 'em who's boss you're nobody's slave Cut the ties they just get in the way It's time that you accept your fate Don't you feel the rage building inside Feed on it it'll help you survive Stop being so naive They don't love you can't you see Let go of your stupid beliefs I'm the one that'll bring you your dreams I made a deal with you To be your saviour To make the world repent for all that it has made you suffer Corruption Destruction This anger is clouding my vision Slipping into something inhumanly Driving into endless bouts of lunacy Corruption Destruction This anger is clouding my vision Slipping into something inhumanly Driving into endless bouts of lunacy
5.
crush 03:34
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Your love is all that I'm wishing I picture you on top of me lips pressed together kissing I wonder how you look with your clothes off How does it feel to touch you is your skin soft Lately, I can't get you out of my head And I'm feeling something I don't really understand Got an infatuation I'm addicted You're my drug You keep me high You keep me faded I don't wanna say that I'm obsessed But I'm always picturing you all undressed And when we finally fuck it'll be more than sex Two souls intertwined isn't that the best So how bout we lay down on this bed together All day all night this shit will last forever I'll be your world and you'll be mine And together we will never ever run out of time I wanna know what your lips taste like Is it sweet like cherry pie I don't know if this is love or lust I think I have a crush Oh I'm mesmerized by your beauty Made in god's image you are truly a wonder Don't wanna be subtle about it can I get your number Around you, it's always summer Forget the rest they don't compare You don't gotta worry I ain't going anywhere Stop denying our attraction You know that I can give you all the satisfaction Used to make you laugh Used to make you smile Now I wanna make you scream my name in the middle of the night It'll be our new lifestyle I'll be your dream I'll be your ecstasy And you'll be the key to setting my soul free And maybe one day we can get married or some shit like that But for now, I just want your body on me I wanna know what your lips taste like Is it sweet like cherry pie I don't know if this is love or lust I think I have a crush
6.
interlude 514 02:19
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7.
vanity 04:25
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Eyes red bloodshot living in a fantasy Slowly losing the grip of reality Scrolling over the same feed repeatedly till we’re forced to go to sleep It’s all just a number’s game at this point Starting to worth more than the coin Brand names cover up my insecurities Can’t afford a condo but can sure afford some Gucci These likes determine my self-confidence Bring em in I need that shot of dopamine More addictive than methamphetamine But we in denial Avoiding warnings from the professionals There ain’t nothing social about this anymore Individual brands tryna determine their worth Online persona you stole my friend’s face But wait aren’t I just doing the same We all obsessed with the vanity of things The vanity of things The vanity of things Look at my diamond ring We all obsessed with the vanity of things The vanity of things The vanity of things What does it really mean to be living Tryna log off but I’m unable to Another couple thousand dollars spent on designer shoes Hide my flaws behind some ink and powder It ain’t self-love no more if it’s taking away my power And Black Mirror tried to warn us But we just take it in for entertainment purposes Do you feel the nervousness When people don’t give you the notices that you would like Since when did we all become narcissists And I fear for my mental health all the time I wish I could just move to the mountains Peace out goodbye But problems gotta be dealt with not just ran away from Is there hope left for the future our kids will grow up in Maybe I’m just a pessimist Speaking from my own guilt acting as my own therapist I’m tripping But it gotta be a problem if I’m not the only one feeling it We all obsessed with the vanity of things The vanity of things The vanity of things Look at my diamond ring We all obsessed with the vanity of things The vanity of things The vanity of things What does it really mean to be living Bout to drop some truth bombs So y'all better listen up Let's go North American culture Obsessed with the vanity We’re our own celebrity In our minds flaunting unapologetically Show the good hide the bad Vicious cycle driving us mad Hooked on a wire as the eyes above watch us till we expire But let’s be honest nothing’s gonna change New norm nothing strange I’m just a product of my environment Belong to a deprived generation with nothing but a constant need for confirmation I just want a real conversation Is that really too much to ask Can you put down your phone and take off your mask Why you spending your whole net worth on the latest merch Skipping meals just to say that you got it first While some people are dying of hunger and thirst But it’s not you so turn a blind eye and enjoy your life Though I’m not really the one to talk I’ve been chained to this lifestyle my soul under lock Kinda wish there would be some catastrophe And then we can move back into the wilderness and be free
8.
euphoria 03:19
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It feels like I’m drowning but underwater I’m breathing fine It feels like I’m falling but my feet are planted to the sky Oh oh oh Searching for euphoria Oh oh oh Euphoria What does it mean what does it mean to be alive Not sure there’s a reason than to chase the high I’m tryna find a purpose But for now I’m consuming substance to get that rush of endorphins Nowhere left to run guess I gotta face my demons head on Wouldn’t it be so much fun if all your problems were gone I’m doing whatever it takes just to feel something Taking stupid risks for the thrill of it Like crossing the streets with my eyes closed My own kind of Russian roulette will the cars beep or just drive through Leave it up to fate Still alive so far maybe I’m invincible Only God knows Love I need none Sex for pleasure Trick my brain into thinking I should live another day It’s a survival race I’m the predator and the prey Take a hold and never let go of that ecstasy Cause any day you can lose it all to misery It feels like I’m drowning but underwater I’m breathing fine It feels like I’m falling but my feet are planted to the sky Oh oh oh Searching for euphoria Oh oh oh Euphoria I ain’t gonna die I ain’t gonna die until I find euphoria Searching high and low all across the globe but all I see is dystopia When I sleep when I dream I’m in utopia But as soon as I wake I’m running through a land full of phobias Seconds turn to minutes turn to hours turn to days I’m walking around living in a haze Popping pills to comfort the monster inside The water looking so blue I wanna take a dive Getting baptized in Atlantis Praying for that eternal bliss Give me your blessing with a kiss And pull me out of this abyss Will you come with me will you come with me to find Arcadia Go on a hunt on a quest to reach Nirvana Anything to get my spirits elevated I’ll consume I’ll take It feels like I’m drowning but underwater I’m breathing fine It feels like I’m falling but my feet are planted to the sky Oh oh oh Searching for euphoria Oh oh oh Euphoria
9.
letter/farewell 03:42
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My head is somewhere in the clouds Feeling so distant now you can scream it out loud But it’ll still go over my head My mind’s not present it’s somewhere between life and death Walking around like bird box Can’t see no light, too tired to fight Counting down the seconds on the clock Waiting for that final drop If this song is my way of saying farewell What do I need to say to sum up my life I’ve been feeling so unwell Got an urge to fly into that blue sky Ohh a decade has come and gone Half my life spent feeling so alone I’m living on autopilot Dealing with these voices in my head I’m in need for some silence This a letter This a letter This a letter In case I go No need to reply cause I won’t know This a letter This a letter This a letter In case I go No need to reply cause I won’t know Always committing reckless behaviour Hoping for an accident that’ll send me to my maker I think I need some uppers But still the only thing I turn to is that brown liquor I don’t know what I’m so afraid of Having trouble holding on and letting go I’m waiting for a bus That’ll finally drive me off this crossroad Money I’m blowing out left and right Don’t need no savings if I won’t be alive Self sabotage I don’t know why I’m still trying so hard can they see through my facade I’m so good at hiding my pain I got a reputation to maintain Pretend it’s comedy when it’s tragedy Until it’s too hard to sustain This a letter This a letter This a letter In case I go No need to reply cause I won’t know This a letter This a letter This a letter In case I go No need to reply cause I won’t know Sitting here writing these poetry That no one will ever care enough to read I wonder what they’ll write in my eulogy Will I even get one I guess we’ll wait and see Farewell Farewell
10.
oblivion 04:00
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It’s getting late I’m feeling great Drunk on this drink It’s gonna be alright As long as I don’t come off this high I’ll be fine The world’s moving fast But I’m standing still I can’t differentiate between what’s fake and what’s real Got an empty heart That I can’t fill I love everyone but myself Oblivion Oblivion Into oblivion I go Oblivion Oblivion Into oblivion I go My life looks so perfect From the outside in Checked off all the boxes on this list But nothing feels like a win I guess I’m not cut out For this life I live Peace is so hard to find I don’t need more time Just let me fade away Oblivion Oblivion Into oblivion I go Oblivion Oblivion Into oblivion I go Oblivion Oblivion Into oblivion I go Oblivion Oblivion Into oblivion I go Mind over body I’m being controlled by a higher power I can’t see I’m no longer in the driver’s seat of my own thoughts and feelings And what I’m feeling is so illogical but it’s still there you know My mind is taking me to somewhere beyond this plane of existence All I can hope for is once I get there this melancholy will disappear Who knew nothingness could feel this good Oblivion

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released August 8, 2020

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Holy Ramen Toronto, Ontario

Hailing from Toronto, Holy Ramen is an up and coming Pop and Hip Hop artist with a penchant for writing infectious tunes and relatable narratives.

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